Hey Garvertron, You Ever Going to Post on the Blog?

Do I have to do everything myself around here?

Perhaps if I threaten to post a new, unflattering, photo of Garvertron daily until he publishes a blog post, that might give him enough of a nudge to finally post on OUR blog. We'll soon find out.

Here's a photo for day number 1. This can all be over, if he would just post. Post.

Look, I know he's busy with school, but that's no excuse.

Not Porn, Food Porn

Hungry yet? I decided, just now, that I'm going to make this a regular feature on the blog. Warning: do not view on an empty stomach...

Christopher Walken Was in My Dream Last Night (So was Kevin Bacon)

I had a dream last night that I was a proprietor of a rolling bar, a tiki bar on wheels with room for 4 patrons at the bar top. I was mixing drinks at some sort of civic center when who comes strolling up to my bar but none other than Christopher Walken (and Kevin Bacon). Unfortunately, Kevin Bacon did most of the talking in this little dream episode of mine, he talked so much that I was unable to give them both the pitch for my script. I was worried however, that they might be annoyed that I wanted to pitch my script instead of just keeping their drinks fresh like a good bartender. Nonetheless, as my dream went on, I didn't get to speak to Mr. Walken, I only conversed with an increasingly annoying Kevin Bacon. My dream transitioned into a sequence in which I had to scurry off as I was late catching a flight with my Paris Hiltonesque girlfriend and her small dog. Perhaps Mr. Walken and I will meet again and I'll finally get to pitch him my story, even if only in a dream.

It's OK Anna Kournikova, I'll be happy to take his place.

An open letter to Anna Kournikova:

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2013/10/01/anna-kournikova-playing-singles-again-report-says/?test=prod

Not to worry, I'll be more than happy to step in and take Julio's spot. Firstly, I'm also Hispanic, handsome and wealthy. OK, I'm not wealthy but you are and what's mine is yours etc. Secondly, I play tennis. Thirdly, we actually met once at my tennis club (I was the club Director, I know you're impressed) back in 1996 or 1997. You're mom was kind of rude to me but I'm over it now. We were standing next to each other on center court while you were doing a photo shoot for Adidas. She was having a conversation with some guy in Russian, she glanced over her should at me and said in a thick Russian accent, "Do you mind not standing so close, we are having a private conversation." Thing of it was, they were speaking in Russian! So it's not like I knew what they were talking about anyway. Lastly, I almost saw you naked in the women's locker room. True.

Anyway, surely I'd be a step up from this Julio guy, whoever he is, and my friends will tell you, I'm most certainly not afraid of marriage. A date would be kind of difficult right now because as things turned out, I'm now a soldier stationed in Korea. But since money is no object and I'm totally worth the trip to Seoul, why don't you book a flight and let's enjoy some Korean BBQ.

Anna and Felix circa 1996 or 1997. Compared with the photo below of Anna and Julio and you will clearly see that there is space between Anna and Julio's shoulders whilst there is no space between she and I in our photo above. Proof positive, she likes me better.

Submarine Emerges in the Middle of a City Street!

This brilliantly conceived ruse took place in Milan, Italy recently. Imagine the time and effort it took to make this scene happen! There's a video too but there was no embed code so you would have to click the link below if you want to watch it.

Read more...

Surprise Guest Slated for Episode 2 Will Blow Your Mind

I have lined up a surprise guest for episode 2 of "Hey, Don't Shoot" that will blow your mind! I have not and will not tell Garvertron who it is but what I can say is that I will not divulge a single clue. Tune in and see who it is on Episode 2!

Enjoy the Lovely Photography of Andrea Mann

Enjoy the lovely photography of Andrea Mann, who as it turns out, aside from being a fabulous photographer is also a writer and jazz singer AND comedy editor of the Huffington Post UK. I am so giddy that I followed her on Twitter today. Yay for me.

See more of her fantastic pictures and be introduced to Andrea here... http://www.andreamann.com/photos
Here's where she works - http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/comedy/
And Twitter @AndreaMann