Wednesday, October 2, 2013

It's OK Anna Kournikova, I'll be happy to take his place.

An open letter to Anna Kournikova:

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2013/10/01/anna-kournikova-playing-singles-again-report-says/?test=prod

Not to worry, I'll be more than happy to step in and take Julio's spot. Firstly, I'm also Hispanic, handsome and wealthy. OK, I'm not wealthy but you are and what's mine is yours etc. Secondly, I play tennis. Thirdly, we actually met once at my tennis club (I was the club Director, I know you're impressed) back in 1996 or 1997. You're mom was kind of rude to me but I'm over it now. We were standing next to each other on center court while you were doing a photo shoot for Adidas. She was having a conversation with some guy in Russian, she glanced over her should at me and said in a thick Russian accent, "Do you mind not standing so close, we are having a private conversation." Thing of it was, they were speaking in Russian! So it's not like I knew what they were talking about anyway. Lastly, I almost saw you naked in the women's locker room. True.

Anyway, surely I'd be a step up from this Julio guy, whoever he is, and my friends will tell you, I'm most certainly not afraid of marriage. A date would be kind of difficult right now because as things turned out, I'm now a soldier stationed in Korea. But since money is no object and I'm totally worth the trip to Seoul, why don't you book a flight and let's enjoy some Korean BBQ.


Anna and Felix circa 1996 or 1997. Compared with the photo below of Anna and Julio and you will clearly see that there is space between Anna and Julio's shoulders whilst there is no space between she and I in our photo above. Proof positive, she likes me better.



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